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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?